Times With The Palmtop Tiger
by Erebos Brando
Summary: There's rarely a dull moment when you hang out with the Palmtop Tiger.
1. Confession

Authors Notes: A little series I came up with this morning. A series of comedic one-shots. Toradora follows a set time-line, so we don't really get much to see the day-by-day interaction between Ryuuji and Taiga, and I figure hanging out with "the Palmtop Tiger" would have some very interesting times, hence the title.

This story has no real plot, nor will it ever have a 'the end'. It'll just be updated as I get ideas. It's marked as "complete" simply because chances are I may never come up with anything else.

Enjoy!

Font change index.

"Text with speech marks": Speech

"_Text with speech marks in italic"_: Thought

"_Italic text with speech marks and underlined text":_ Remembered speech (IE: Character remembering something someone else said)

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

In a rare moment, Ryuuji and Taiga were separated on school grounds, owing to a little incident involving Ryuuji getting a drink spilled on his uniform. (Taiga was angry, and Ryuuji was in line of her line of sight) Ryuuji took some time from his lunch break to go clean himself. On his way to the outside of the building he found himself at a very familiar staircase, and, in a rare moment of nostalgia, took a look at the ground below.

Now there was a familiar sight. He had to blink a few times to ensure he wasn't seeing things, but he was proven wrong. He was seeing true.

Taiga was in the same position was before, but the figure across from her was not Yusaku. In fact, it was not a boy Ryuuji could recognize. However, he could guess exactly how this scene had come to be, and felt a deep sense of pity for the lad. All of the second years, and indeed, the third years knew that making any kind of advance towards Taiga was about as wise as advancing on her namesake beast.

First years on the other hand..."A-Aisaka! I love you!"

There was only silence, but Ryuuji could feel the unseen force, the force that gave birth to foreboding. Taiga walked forward, approaching the first year in confident strides, only making him all the more nervous, and slightly hopeful.

Ryuuji sighed...this wasn't the first he'd witnessed. _"Three, Two, on-"_

"ORYYAAA!"

This familiar war-cry was followed by a strangled scream, and the world of masculinity seemed to tremble for a crushing instant.

Ryuuji cringed._"That's way too harsh!"_

Below, Taiga turned in a huff before walking away. "Now where's that damn dog..."

Behind her, the confessor was upon the ground, attempting to soothe his crushed pride.

His crushed privates too.

Above the scene, Ryuuji shook his head.

He suddenly had an inkling as to why Yusaku wasn't very receptive to Taiga's confession.


	2. Sweet Dreams

Authors Notes: I had a second idea!

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Ryuuji looked down at his handiwork, his latest successful experiment in the kitchen; sweet sticky rice balls.

(Taiga had named it, he'd yet to come up with a name of his own)

It'd started with a comment made by Taiga that rice balls were not sweet. Intrigued, and driven by his pride in his own cooking skills Ryuuji rose to the unmade challenge, and after a few trial and error runs (he'd had to wipe rejected samples off his face), he'd perfected his recipe!

(Well they tended to last only half as long as most food around Taiga, so that was close enough to perfect)

The precise secret of this recipe, like his other creations would be a closely guarded art. It would one day occur to him maybe he should consider a career in cooking, but on this day his mind would be otherwise occupied. Currently he'd prepared a dish of them, intended to be shared as a snack between him and Taiga. (He'd have to take his share off the dish immediately, and likely fight to keep that) He lightly placed the dish on the table, and blinked when he realized the dish had remained full for an entire second.

He slowly edged his vision to the side of the table, finding an odd sight between the table and the door to his room. He smiled.

Taiga was asleep. This was not an oddity in itself, it was becoming more common that they'd fall asleep in this very room watching movies together, woken sometimes by Yasuko (depending if she'd bump one of them or not), who'd never remember what she'd found. (Well if she did she hadn't said) Yet the lack of a movie, or the time of day (early evening) did make it kind of odd.

Maybe he should wake her. Chances are he could send her home to sleep, after she'd somehow get the entire dish to herself. Even a sleepy Taiga wouldn't turn down food. It'd at least get him some peace. "Hey, Taiga."

Taiga only took a deep breath, and her mouth uttered something he honestly couldn't make out. He leaned in, calling her name again. She didn't respond to him, she just lay on her back, her face, well he assumed that was her happy expression. The only expressions of hers he was really familiar with was angry, annoyed, and whatever one called the expression when she was using him as punching/kicking/etc bag.

He'd taken to his knees, hovering over her, now curious at what she was dreaming about.

"Kitamura. Don't be shy Kitamura..." He rolled his eyes. He kept smiling through, there was a certain something about Taiga when she was pursuing her love, a certain aura about her. It was an improvement. He took a second to take a good glance at her, and failed to notice her mouth moving again.

"Kiss me."

"_What was-oh crap!"_

Like the hands of death itself her arms had shot out, and were intent on dragging him right down to the deepest circle of hell. The hell being Taiga's lips, which were currently pursed, she wanted a kiss...

There wasn't a damn thing he could do to stop it!

He pulled back, as hard as he could, but second by second he was only going down, and down, and down. He tried turning his head, but no construct of metal could have hoped to have held him in place more securely. All he could do was violently repeat the last two words of his thoughts in his head. Dammit, why wasn't she just awake to eat the-

_Hope!_

His eye quickly darted to his side. His arm shot out, returning in the blink of an eye before-

Before Taiga's lips found a target. Ryuuji's too had been pressed against a surface, but he found himself releasing a breath he'd forgotten he was holding.

He was safe, it was just he and Taiga on opposite ends of a rice ball. Now if she didn't wake up he could make it through this with all of his body parts. Right now he took note of the taste of his creation, definitely one of his better works, but the flavour, it seemed to be lacking a little something, like a painting without its signature. He'd have to think on this when he had the chance.

Below him Taiga gave a happy-was that a sigh?-and suddenly he was silently swearing again.

Taiga was pulling him down once more. He tried to pull back, but this girl was too strong! Ryuuji felt the mess that was the rice ball rotate slightly, and Taiga give another-okay he was sure that was a moan. He did not want to imagine what was going on in this girl's head. The ball was starting to flatten, only getting wider as two masses bared down at either side. Ryuuji's mind was working a thousand miles a second, but nothing. She was pulling him a little closer, and closer, and closer still.

He could feel something warm, just separated by a thin layer of sticky sweet rice. This was it, his lips were about to be violated. The Palmtop Tiger was about to steal his first kiss.

(And if she were awake she'd blame this on **him!**)

The layer was getting thinner, for an instant he thought he could feel the shape of her lips under the rice. This was it, this was it! He was so done for-

She let go.

Ryuuji pulled back, as if launched by a springboard he jumped away, trying desperately to refill his lungs. The bottom of his face was covered in grains of rice but still he couldn't help but smile for an instant.

He was free!

After a few more seconds he turned to Taiga, where the Rice Ball had made most of its home. The bottom of her face was covered in rice, some of it falling onto the floor but she was smiling unlike anything Ryuuji had ever seen from her.

"Mmm, Kitamura." She licked her lips.

Ryuuji took a breath. "Phew." He laid down, heart beating like a jack-hammer. That was a close one. Too close! He was never doing that again! Next time she was asleep he was walking by, he wasn't even gonna risk it.

No way he was _ever_ kissing Taiga.


	3. Taiga's First Time

Authors Notes: And here's idea number three!

("Here's more crap!" would be a more accurate author's note. You know I might just say that from now on...)

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Yasuko's eyes slowly opened. "Wh-wha?" She turned his attention to the door, the hangover clouding her ability to think briefly. What had woken her up? Well she didn't wake herself up, so that left the other two (human) members of the family, and it was easy to deduce which. Yasuko adored Taiga, she really did, but that girl had a tremendous capacity to make noise. Yasuko sleepily raised her arm, now fully aware of the voices beyond.

"Taiga, not so rough."

Yasuko paused. "Huh?" It was seconds before she heard Ryuuji again.

"That's better. Don't just stay at the top though."

She blinked. "Hm?"

Yausko briefly stopped her hand for a little longer, continuing to listen to what was happening beyond the door. She didn't need to wait long for Taiga to speak again.

"Hey. What if I do it like this?"

Ryuuji's approving voice quickly spoke. "Oh. Yeah, that's good."

Something didn't sound right. Even through her hangover something was not registering well with Yausko's brain. She caught a brief sound, which was too brief and dulled by the door to make out properly...

Though Ryuuji was nice enough to drop a hint. "D-don't use your mouth!"

She rapidly blinked. "Wha-?"

She waited, listening out for one of them to say anything, and soon she heard-"Taiga, not so hard!"

There was a brief moment of silence before-"Like this?"

"Yes, that's it. Keep doing it like that."

The gears of Yasuko's hungover mind were slowly turning...and still the conversation kept on going.

"Should I use both hands?"

"It's up to you."

If Taiga decided to"use both hands" she didn't say, instead there was only silence, or at least something close to it. While not the greatest of sound proof mechanisms, the doors of this apartment did block the most inconsiderable of sounds. Instead Yausko could only wait for voices, and soon she was rewarded.

"Taiga?"

There was a brief pause before-"It's really thick."

Hungover or not, Yausko quickly found herself with a blush. An even longer pause passed before Ryuuji spoke again.

"It's just that your hands are small."

Thankfully, Yasuko's hangover-laden mind was unable to accurately draw a picture, but she knew what it'd be drawing right now if it could.

"You're not too bad at this, Taiga."

Yasuko couldn't help but picture Taiga throwing Ryuuji a scathing look. "I'm only practising with you for Kitamura."

Yasuko's mouth fell open, her face flushed deeper than ever. _"Ryuu-chan's-! Ryuu-chan's-!"_ She closed her eyes. _"Well at least it's with Taiga..."_ They snapped open. _"Ah! What's Ya-chan saying!? He's too young. Too young!" _She forcefully grasped the door, and quickly pried it open, finding Taiga with her hand wrapped around-!

..."Eh?"

They both turned.

"Yasuko?"

"Ya-chan?"

Yasuko had to blink a few times to really get what she was seeing. When that was done she could finally take in the sight before her.

Taiga, with cloth in hand, was currently on all fours, attempting to clean one of the legs of the table, a bottle of open cleaning detergent atop of the table, its faint smell sneaking into Yasuko's nose. Ryuuji stood at the edge of the kitchen, watching Taiga's ministrations closely.

Yasuko blinked a few more times.

"L-loud. Too loud."

She promptly closed the door. The color still dyed her face. She turned over in her futon, not quite passing into sleep for another few moments.

And there was Taiga again...

"God dammit...Come out!"

"Ah! Taiga, Taiga, Tai-AH!"

Yausko's face flushed deeper still. Goodness knows what the landlady was thinking.

"Dammit! It's in my hair!" Taiga growled. "**Ryuujiiii!**"

"Hey it's not my fault! You're the one who-"

"ORYAAA!"

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

End

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Author's notes: For those who are unaware; it's stated in the novels the resident who lives under the Takasu residence is their landlady. I don't think the animé ever addressed the mystery of who lived below.


	4. Taiga's Role Model

Authors Notes: Here's more crap!

(feels good to be honest. Oh my god! "Here's more crap" should by my motto!)

Fair warning: A number of you likely wont get this chapter, it's intended for those who actually will.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Ryuuji sat at his side of the table, preparing the beans for cooking as Taiga sat, absorbed in the TV, which was good for him because for the thirty minutes it took for her show to run its course it meant she didn't talk to him. (which usually involved complaints or demands)

Damn...there went the closing credits. His time was quickly running out. He softly sighed. He'd better finish preparing dinner, otherwise...well, he didn't wanna know what "otherwise" entailed.

Eventually the credits (and trailer for the next episode) came to an end, and Ryuuji knew damn well he'd be forced to watch it. (Taiga _never_ went home before her bed time) She smiled to herself, Ryuuji had suspected that Taiga identified greatly with the female protagonist, some for reasons she might admit, others Ryuuji would never dare point out.

She gave a sigh. "She's so cool." She frowned. "But _he's_ such a stupid mutt."

Ryuuji shook his head, now having a good idea where Taiga had gotten her name for himself from. "I feel sorry for him." He ripped the skin from another bean. _"Though he's probably braver than me."_ Ryuuji wasn't a master at telling the difference between bravery and just plain stupidity.

Taiga clearly thought of it as the latter, if the sudden flare in her eye were any indication. "What?" His back hairs stood on end, as her anger seemed to burn like a flame. "He's lucky, _lucky_, to have a master like her, who's willing to put up with his endless faults. It's his own fault he has so many problems, if he actually did what his master told him, and was _loyal_ to her he'd be fine."

Something about all that seemed _very_ familiar to Ryuuji. He didn't speak, he could only wonder. _"Does she really believe what comes out of her mouth?"_

Her eyes were suddenly full of accusation. "You should learn from his mistake, Ryuuji."

"_Yes...yes she does."_ He knew better than to try and make any kind of challenge, so he took the wise option. Just say one nice thing about her animé, and let the topic die. "Well, I prefer the maid." As he said that, an image of said maid made its way to his mind's eye, and his mind couldn't help but recall a _real_ girl who dressed similarly sometimes, and on his hormones went to work, crafting for him a vision of perfection. _"Kushieda in her outfit..." _Angels would weep before such beauty. the way the maid outfit complimented her body, emphasizing her bosom. She suddenly leaned down slightly, an expression on her face which would ignite fire in the blood of any male. _"__How may I serve you, master?__" _His nose was bleeding...which was odd in itself since Taiga hadn't hit him.

Yet. "Mongrel!"

"Eh?" He just caught a flash of Taiga's favourite hand gesture-"My eyes!" He fell back, clutching at his face as Taiga pounced on him.

"Low creature!" He screamed as her foot made home in his stomach, her second landing on the floor. When her foot rose to prepare stamping on him he acted, rolling away and to a knee. He put up his guard as fast he could.

Not fast enough. "Water Flea!" Her open palm slammed into his face. Only by some divine intervention did Ryuuji not fall down, instead skidding across the floor before getting to his feet. Taiga jumped on the table, before launching herself from it, her height briefly above his own before her fist came down. His hand shot out.

He gasped. In a moment that otherwise could have only been possible in the most dramatic of animé, (by the utmost badass male lead character) he caught her by the wrist. Fuelled by adrenaline, he caught her second fist. He grinned, he could do it! He could combat the Palmtop Tig-"AH!"

In a moment more befitting his normal schedule, he'd forgotten to account for her legs, specifically her knees, her right knee at that.

"You stupid perverted dog!"

Taiga pulled herself away as he fell to the ground, his free hands covering the single greatest pain possible. Taiga had reached a new low, in more ways than one. Yet he still had that image, and as his pain slowly (oh so very slowly) faded away he had to hide his grin.

"_Should I kiss it better, master?"_

For once, the beating _was so worth it._

He just hoped she never decided to get herself a crop.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

End

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Author's notes: If Ryuui had been voiced by Satoshi Hino then this chapter would have been literary perfection. Well, as close as I can get to it. Which in actuality, is still crap.

(now let's see how many of you actually get the references in this chapter, and why I made them. Let's see who can find them all!)


	5. Laundry Day

Authors Notes: And more crap! Bet some of you thought I'd moved over to Familiar of Zero. Nope, sorry, still plenty more crap for Toradora.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The worst things about dealing with the Palmtop Tiger: (list likely to be updated)

Nigh-continuous insults.

Frequent assaults.

Trying to figure out if anything that could be called an act of kindness was _actually_ an act of kindness., or means to an end.

Downright unreasonable demands.

Right now, Ryuuji found himself dealing with the final item on the list. In short, it could be summed up as "do my laundry". The long version, well actually there was no long version, she'd just dumped her clothes in with his and Yasuko's and thrown him a look that would have sent demons running for the safety of the ninth circle of hell when he was about to retort.

There had to be easier ways to get with the girl of his dreams, but Ryuuji didn't know any, so he didn't have much of a choice. Now here he was, sorting through laundry while his "guest" entertained herself.

Ryuuji pulled a dress from the pile, instantly deducing it as Taiga's. Ryuuji spent more time with Taiga than was probably good for his health, yet only rarely was there a moment when it grasped him just how small she really was. With such an _energetic_ personality, it was hard sometimes to perceive her for what she physically was. She was, if nothing else, a living visual work of art, like a doll of living alabaster, but this doll held a monster inside.

He pulled another item of clothing from the pile...well this wasn't Taiga's chest size. He shook his head, the phantom memories of times Yausko had wandered out of her room without a bra stinging his mind. The things he had seen over the years... Most customers at Yausko's night club would have given up an arm (or more) to see, but he'd be glad to have them erased from memory.

He reached into the pile again, pulling out a pair of...he actually flushed. This was yet another thing he didn't want to see, but for another reason.

Taiga wasn't supposed to be the first girl whose underwear he saw.

(then again, Yausko had won that race a _long_ time ago, but to him that couldn't really count)

It wasn't just the fact that he'd pulled...this particular item of clothing from the pile. He just never expected it to be so..._girly_. Taiga was the least feminine female he knew (at least in actions and tastes), he'd never seen the girl in anything even resembling make up. She wore dresses, but he couldn't recall ever seeing her in a skirt outside of school. In fact the only distinctly feminine thing about her he could think of was her hair, but even that he was pretty damn sure was not something she worked to maintain. He'd cleaned her apartment, he'd seen the kind of things she kept around the place, hair care products were not among them. (he knew far more about skin and hair care products than someone his age and gender was meant to know)

His view on Taiga was suddenly a little shaken...did he know anything about her, really?

"If you sniff my underwear I'll kill you."

_There_ was the Taiga he knew. Violent, paranoid and-he froze.

He slowly looked up, finding Taiga facing the TV, controller in hand. He silently sighed in relief, she hadn't turned around. If she had seen him looking at her undies while flushed...well, she wasn't exactly known for asking questions first. He shook his head.

"_Why would I want to?"_

He removed the item from his hands, he would rather not travel down any line of thought related to sniffing underwear. He reached for the pile again.

"Dammit." He stopped. Seemed Taiga was about to die again. She'd been at this level for days, but when she reached the boss she'd always get turned into mincemeat. Foolish little Taiga, always insisted on using force against force, never noticing the simpler option. He watched, knowing by now that offering a tip was just going to hurt like hell. He tried to see the funny side, but dammit it was hard! How could this girl keep missing the obvious?

The boss launched a powerful magic attack. _"Jump away!"_ She blocked, and her health was going down. The bosses attack ended, revealing a narrow opening..._"Arrows, arrows!"_ She went charging in with a sword. She was blocked, her opening gone, her health dropping even faster. The boss held up a lance, ready to charge. _"Dodge and hit him from behind! Ah, wait-!"_ She charged head-on...

He sighed. Three, two, one...

"DAMN IT ALL!" She threw the controller down. "Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! DAMMIT!"

Ryuuji took a look behind him. Dinner was ready, that'd sedate her when she finally got off her warpath. Now when would she get to the part about never playing-"I'm through with this game!" Now it'd be how it designed to be impossible-"You can't win! It cheats!" Now it'd be-"I'm through with every damn game!"

Oh, that one was new. So was the next thing. Her fist slammed onto the table, and like a seesaw Ryuuji's side went up, casting clothing everywhere. He was about to cry out in protest when something smacked against his face.

Taiga picked that precise moment to turn around, and Ryuuji knew exactly what was on his face.

He was a dead man.

She pulled out her sword, murder, _genocide_ in her eyes. "You pervert!" She was on the table, each step she took towards him like thunder. "I'll kill you!" He could _feel_ the bloodlust radiating from her. "I'LL KILL YOU!" He'd heard those three little words a million times, but this is the one time he actually felt the cold embrace of the inevitable.

It was different this time.

This time _she was actually going to kill him._

He backed away as Taiga advanced. "You perverted mutt!" Another step forward. "I'll send you to hell with the rest of the dogs!" Ryuuji tried to back further away, his hands slipping on the mat. She took another step, almost at the edge of the table now. She raised up her sword. "Prepare to die!"

His hand found something. He grasped it.

He threw it, then threw his arms before his face.

It took a handful of seconds to register the still in fact had arms, and wasn't screaming for dear mercy. He hesitantly lowered his arms, his eyes level with Taiga's feet. She wasn't moving, and with a confused blinking, Ryuuji moved up her body, past her knees, past her chest to her-he choked.

He wasn't a 'dead man' anymore.

Dead men actually got to die.

She'd _never_ let him die now.

Both remained still, their faces in mirrored shock. Ryuuji trying to think of some way out. Taiga somewhere between what the hell to do to 'the perverted mutt' and...and...she couldn't even process it.

There was the sound of a door opening. "Good morning!"

Yausko walked out of her room, ready for the night ahead. Her smile vanished when she took in what was before her. She had to blink a few times. There was Ryuu-chan, sitting on the floor with Taiga's panties on his face, and Taiga-"Oh my." Taiga too had underwear on her face. A pair which covered most of her vision.

Ryuuji's boxers.

Yasuko smiled. "Yay!" Like machines in desperate need of oil, two heads slowly turned with a creak, not removing the clothes which adorned them. "Ya-chan knew something was going on between you two!" Ryuuji found himself with new reason to flush red, Taiga copied him. "That's why Taiga is over all the time, isn't it? You two are being naughty while Ya-chan isn't here! Ya-chan wasn't sure if she liked it at first but now she's glad, you two are so good together!" Her hands found her face, her every feature flooded with euphoria.

"Ya-chan can't wait to be a grandma!"

...

...

...

THUD

"Hm?"

Again she had to blink a few times. Ryuuji and Taiga clearly fainted, both on their backs with the other undies resting on their face. She smiled again. _"Must be tired."_

Yausko quickly retreated to the kitchen, dishing herself up a meal before returning to the table. The young pair were still out cold, but she didn't mind. _"They'll need their energy." _Yasuko ate her meal in silence, smiling.

She was really looking forward to being a grandma.


	6. Sweet Dreams (Pt 2)

Authors Notes: This one was inevitable.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The door to the Takasu household opened. "Hey, Ryuuji, I'm starving." It took her a moment to register that there was no response. She walked into hallway/kitchen. This was odd, normally Ryuuji was up and about his daily duties long before she even opened her eyes. She found the living room, finding it quite empty. She made her way to the only logical conclusion she could reach. She opened Ryuuji's door. "Tch." She'd found Ryuuji. On what was a very rare occasion.

He was sleeping in.

Taiga approached, taking in the form of the sleeping dragon. It was so different from when he was awake, always moving, almost always doing something, no matter how mundane. In sleep he was so still. Yet, even while unconscious he was so damn _neat_, his entire body was perfectly contained under his blanket, and his futon was the epitome of undisturbed.

His face, now that was different. She'd yet to see this expression while he was awake. It was so void of...anything. He was just a blank slate. It was strange, with his eyes closed, it just didn't seem like Ryuuji in front of her. Those eyes of his really were a defining characteristic, but she never got why people reacted the way they did to them. She had never found his appearance scary, somehow. She'd seen many run from him just from the slightest change in expression, yet she'd never found herself even able to fear him.

Somehow, no matter how much she put him in line, she felt he didn't fear her either.

Now what was this nice feeling that thought brought on? Ah screw it, she was hungry. She nudged him with her toe. "Ryuuji." Ryuuji's head turned to face her, but his eyes remained closed as he muttered something which was mostly unintelligible to her. She didn't care about what he was dreaming, she just wanted him to get up and make her damn breakfast!

"...Taiga."

...scratch that. She quickly put herself on all fours, and leaned in closely to Ryuuji. He muttered so quietly she had to get close. What was he going on about?

"We're all alone now, my love."

"_My love."_

Those words echoed through her mind. Her mouth opened, but she could not speak. Ryuuji...he, he-!

Her face suddenly felt hot. She tried shaking her head, but the heat remained. This was wrong! They weren't ever supposed to-! She had to shake her head again, choice observations made about the pair of them bubbling up in her mind, the truest one the forerunner among them.

Okay, they spent all their time together, but it wasn't because they were, well, _that_. They didn't even care about each other, at all! They only put up with each other because they wanted something! Nothing else, nothing! Nothing!

_Well...she liked his company..._

Ryuuji smiled. "I love you..."

With a shaking hand, she reached for her upper back, slowly extracting an object. Her arm dropped to the floor, her sword softly clicking against it. She looked down at the happy Ryuuji, before she slowly started to raise her sword.

"_I love you."_

_That **couldn't** happen._

"Kushieda."

She stopped, and her sword found the floor again. "Oh..." She almost sighed in relief, almost..._it wasn't her _he was dreaming of. Somehow, that didn't..."Hm?"

Ryuuji's hand had reached up, and touched the side of her face. She didn't flinch, or react, because...it wasn't unpleasant. Ryuuji had a gentle touch. Strong, yet gentle. It was somehow him. Despite everything, Taiga smiled slightly. Minori was a lucky girl. Taiga had never given much thought to what Yuusaku's hands would feel like on her, but if his touch were anything like this she wouldn't complain. His second hand reached up, claiming her other cheek. Her smile _almost_ widened, this was a new side to her dog.

Her smile left. "You're so beautiful." This was getting old fast. He was supposed to be up by now and making her food! Maybe a bit of force would get him up. "Kushieda..." She felt a tug.

"Eh? Uah!"

He was pulling. She froze for just an instant, an instant in which she found herself getting _closer to him_. He wouldn't dare-!

He _was_! There was blur of brown.

Ryuuji's lips pressed against the smooth surface they had found, his face reflecting a state of bliss. Across from him Taiga's eyes had turned dark, fires becoming ignited in each. Taiga's face was still lovingly held in Ryuuji's sleeping hands, as he pressed his lips harder against his dream of another. In his dreams his kissed the object of his heart.

In reality, he was kissing wood.

Free from this truth, Ryuuji remained as he was for a moment, before trying to pull his dream girl a bit closer to himself. His eyes suddenly twitched, before slowly they opened.

He froze.

Behind her side of the blade Taiga smiled, a smile which could have frozen a thousand suns. His hands shot off her face, and he quickly pulled himself away. "Taiga! I can explain-!" He crawled away.

Still she held that evil smile. She stood up, the blade at her side as threatening as one made of metal. She took a step forward, growling.

_She'd teach this mongrel to fear her!_

"Taiga! Wait, please! I'm sor-!"

"ORYAAA!" She lunged forward, pulling up her blade before-

She struck down.

From inside his cage, all Inko-chan could hear were the screams. The mad beast was at it again. The things his feeder put up with from her, they were-what was that word.

Ryuuji screamed out again, reaching a pitch which, had he been a singer, been quite an accomplishment.

"I-I-Inhumane!"


	7. Fight Night

Authors Notes: Nearly two weeks since my last batch of crap...should I apologize or not?

Somebody finally got the reference I was making in chapter 4. (well the first to say so anyway) But you didn't get all of them. (well, write them down anyway)

References made:

Familiar of Zero (obviously)

The Familiar of Zero Character Louise (Taiga and she share the same Japanese Voice Actress) Louise also has a crop, and a habit of kicking her "dog" in his unmentionables. (the only place Taiga **didn't** go for in the cannon.)

The Familiar of Zero Character Siesta (The Maid, who shares the same voice actress as Minori)

Like I said, if Ryuuji shared a VA with Saito (Louise's "dog"), then that chapter could have been perfect, but I'll take what I can get, and give you shit in return.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Ryuuji was fighting. With perfect grace he blocked a powerful blow from Taiga. In an instant he countered with a kick, knocking her from her feet. She leapt back up, rushing forward with a low kick. Ryuuji jumped, his own foot slipping forward to nick Taiga's face. She fell back again, blood falling to the ground. She reached her feet again, taking a second before...

She rushed forward, aiming a kick at her target's head. He ducked, slamming a fist into her gut. She flinched, but she did not fall. She sent forth a flurry of punches, all blocked with effortless movement. She jumped, kicking out at Ryuuji's head.

He ducked, before suddenly jumping himself. -POW!- Taiga's blood fell to the ground again as his fist struck her jaw in an uppercut. She landed in a heap, panting for a moment before finally she got back up. She took a slow step forward. She threw a punch.

Ryuuji captured her arm with both of his hands, before throwing her over his shoulder, slamming her into the ground. She jumped to feet, took a step forward, unguarded.

Ryuuji flew forward, slamming his elbow into Taiga's face, her blood falling again as she sailed through the air, almost as if in slow motion as she landed on the ground.

She didn't get back up.

Suddenly there was flashing...

"K.O.! PERFECT!"

Taiga was growling, her shaking hands threatening to snap her controller as Ryuuji's character struck a pose on screen. Next to her Ryuuji sighed. "169 to 0." She growled louder, not noticing as Ryuuji took a look around. It was dark, and had been since long ago. Midnight had come and gone hours ago, the only things disturbing the quiet of the night were the two of them, and the loud screen.

"Rematch..."

He turned to Taiga slowly. "Taiga. It's late. We can do this tomor-"

"REMATCH!" She grabbed him by the collar. "REMATCH! REMATCH! REMATCH! REMATCH! REMATCH! REMATCH!"

"Taiga, plea-"

Her face was an inch from his. **"REMATCH!"**

He knew this killer intent far too well...why did he let her into his home again? "A-...alright."

Taiga released him, and in seconds had selected a new character yet again. She'd gone through each of them at least twice now. Ryuuji sighed, taking a look at the clock of his stereo. Yasuko would be home soon. Maybe he should just let Taiga win. He shook that thought off. She'd know, and she'd hurt him for it. Guess she was just gonna have to learn how to play properly...however long that took.

"ORYAAA!"

He blocked another blow...

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

End

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Author's notes: And THAT is how you beat the Palmtop Tiger in a fight, do it in a video game!


	8. Animal Care

Authors Notes: Thought I'd try something a little less humorous.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Ryuuji was no veterinarian. His knowledge of animal care was minimal at best. He knew how to keep Inko-chan alive, that was it, so one would think that not giving him an animal to take care of would be a no-brainer.

One would have to think again. An animal _had_ been dumped onto him. This particular feline was one he'd been feeding for a while, though getting it to actually go back home was a challenge in itself, she wasn't the most pleasant of guests most of the time, but still he kept feeding her. Food was the one absolute he'd found, it was never an unwelcome thing to her. So on the one morning she didn't respond to promises of food, Ryuuji was worried, and ventured to the room in the apartment where this beast slept.

He'd found one sick tiger. She was laying on her bed, face flushed, and were it not for the discomforted moaning he'd just have dismissed her red face as symptoms of more graphic dreams. He quickly walked over to her bed, approaching the sleeping beast with caution. "Taiga?"

With the grace of a heavily drunken swordsman, Taiga threw out a fist, which Ryuuji evaded. She gave another discomforted moan. Ryuuji picked up some mostly incoherent words. "away", "beat" among them, and quickly deduced Taiga didn't want company. This was one day Ryuuji would not respect her wishes. (regardless of the fact that this was the one day he could do so without risking his ability to walk)

Ignoring her mumbled threats, he put his hand to her forehead. She was running a temperature. She moaned, defeated by Ryuuji's firm hand. He quickly rose, leaving Taiga to herself as she took in the room around her as best she could.

Her empty room. "Ryuu..ji?" She frowned, closing her eyes again and forcefully turning into her pillow. A sudden breeze. She heard a sound, but didn't comprehend her door had opened again. Ryuuji walked to the bed, a bowl in hand as he sat next to Taiga. He gently lowered a hand, his touch cool against her face as her gaze was once more aimed upwards. Ryuuji removed a wet rag from the bowl, placing the cold object against Taiga's forehead, not having to wait long for signs he could interpret as improvement were shown.

He nodded to himself. He'd deduced Taiga had a fever. Recent days had been unseasonably cold, and Taiga's stubbornness had advised her against bundling up. Maybe she'd learn to listen to him a bit more, but he doubted it. Well he had a few days to try convincing her that listening to him was a good idea, it'd likely take her that long to recover. All she needed was rest, and someone to watch over her...well, that's where things got tricky.

He'd consider it odd, that in all the time they spent together, he really didn't know much of the specific details of Taiga's absent parents. Then he'd recall the few, inevitable ways his enquiries into the topic would end, should he ever choose to address that curiosity. (and since he wasn't a masochist, that wasn't happening)

There was only one real candidate.

After a while, Ryuuji once again left Taiga alone, planning to return in short order. He came home to find Yausko already eating breakfast. Though not needing to be up just yet, she did like to eat breakfast at the same time every day. He had wondered what she'd do when there was no-one to eat with her, now he knew. She quickly turned to face her son, "Ryuu-chan?" She took in note of his clothes. "Aren't you getting ready for school?" Something else was off too..."Where's Taiga?"

"Still in bed. She's got a fever."

Yausko's form stiffened in attention, as if she were ready to rise. "Taiga's sick? Should Ya-chan take care of her today?"

Ryuuji gave a small smile, hiding his thoughts on just how bad an idea he found that to be. A hungover Yasuko and sick Taiga were two things he did not want in the same room. Or even the same building. "I'll do it. I'm taking the day off."

He'd expected protest, normally Yasuko was very supportive of his studies, and adamant in his pursuit of them. He was not expecting her reaction of smiling, then jumping in joy. "That's so sweet! Ryuu-chan's such a fine young man! Ya-chan's so proud!"

Ryuuji smiled, well as long as she didn't say _the other thing_ he was glad for the praise. He went through the kitchen, collecting this and that as he went. Though seemingly random, his choices were made with perfect precision. Being the cook and caretaker of the household, he'd found himself taking care of a sick Yasuko on occasion, and that experience had given birth to a recipe for a soup of his own design. It was a great pick-me-up, and he'd make it whenever Yausko got sick, except for the one time _he_ got sick and Yasuko tried to make it for him.

That mess had taken days to clean. Half the stains he'd found, and a quarter of the places he found them in _still_ made no sense to him. He reached for the final ingredients, putting them all in bag as he prepared to leave. "I'll be at Taiga's all day. I'll cook dinner at hers and bring it back."

Yasuko put a finger to her chin, as if she was suddenly deep in thought. "Ya-chan hasn't seen Taiga's place, and she lives right next door..." She turned to Ryuuji. "Ya-chan'd like to see where Taiga lives, do you think she'd be okay with that?"

_Would she?_ That question was an interesting one. He had wondered, without Taiga's actual mother being in her life, if Yausko was any particular significance to the girl. The two did seem to get along, but he wasn't quite sure how the two felt about one another. Inko-chan was more likely to recite a Shakespeare play before Ryuuji understood the workings of a female mind, nevermind the mind of his mother, or the closest thing he had to a female friend. "Yeah. See you at dinner."

He soon reached the door, pulling it open when- "You be good, Ryuu-chan!"

Ryuuji blushed. He was pretty sure he knew what Yasuko was telling him _not_ to do. What did she take him for? And where would she ever get the idea that _that_ would ever happen? He was starting to wonder if all that drinking was starting to take a toll on Yausko's grasp on reality...

Soon Ryuuji was back in Taiga's apartment, leaving his things in the kitchen.

Thus began his day in animal care.

He returned to Taiga's room, cautious not to wake her. He touched the cloth on her forehead, before removing it briefly. He placed it in the bowl again, his mind briefly left to wonder what would be her fate if he had not come. Would she have made her condition worse? He could picture the various outcomes, Taiga's stubbornness a key factor in them. He frowned.

He didn't like the thought of Taiga being on her own.

He turned from her, putting his weight back on his hands, pushing him back to his feet.

However-"Hm?" Taiga had grabbed his wrist. "Tai-gaa!" He was pulled down, landing face first into a fact he really didn't need to know.

_Taiga had the chest of a doll too._

He instantly flushed. Gulping, he tried to push himself off, but Taiga's arms held him by the shoulders against her firmly. How was this girl so damn strong?! He tried struggling, but she held him with the strength of a vice. He stopped struggling, and blushed a little deeper.

_She smelled nice._

He felt her arms move from his shoulders to his back. "Mine..." Her arms snaked further across his back."Ryuuji...mine..."

He repressed a sigh. _"Now she's taking things from me in her dreams..."_ He could only guess what she imagined she was trying to take from him. _"Probably food."_ He was stuck for a while, unable to break free, and not wanting to wake his patient for two understandable reasons. He listened closely to Taiga, she had not spoken again, but her breathing was slightly laboured.

"_Taiga..."_

Looked like he was staying here for a few days. He'd miss school (and start rumors there most likely) but screw it, he wasn't leaving her alone. He let himself relax, if this kept Taiga content then so be it. He closed his eyes.

This was kinda nice. He let himself lay against her, her heartbeat filling his ear, her fragrance filling his nose. It was at times easy to forget what Taiga really was. She spent so much time berating him and hitting him it was at times easy to get there was a real girl under all that rage. A girl that hid her sensitivity well, though there were times he had seen glimpses of it. Ryuuji, in rarer moments, was convinced there really was a wonderful girl in the creature called "the Palmtop Tiger" somewhere, just waiting for the right person to reveal herself to.

He wasn't sure how long she kept him held, but eventually her grip slacked. He took a breath, and slowly rose up again. He took another look at Taiga, before removing the cloth briefly once more. He gently applied the freshly cooled cloth to her head.

He stood up, without being grabbed this time, and left Taiga to sleep. He had things to do. He made his way to the kitchen. He'd never cooked anything here before, and he wasn't sure where Taiga kept the pots and pans, but he'd figure it out.

How bad could it be?

From left to right, his made his way through the as yet unexplored cabinets of her kitchen.

Door number one: Plates, glasses, some cutlery.

Door number two: Glasses, plates, silverwear, and a toaster.

As soon as he was finished cooking he was having a long intervention with these cabinets. This was just downright criminal! As he reached the middle two cabinets he couldn't help but wonder how Taiga managed to reach them, or the shelves of the previous two cabinets. Yet again the fact she lived alone troubled him, the fact she now ate all her meals at his home his only solace.

She could get herself hurt one day if she wasn't careful.

Now what was behind door number three-"YAAA!"

_Door three: Pots_

He was knocked off his feet by a few of them,

_Pans._

A couple pounded into his stomach.

_Big Knife._

It tilted on the edge of the cabinet for a few seconds...

It fell, blade first.

"Shi-!" He grabbed a pan, throwing it towards his-

CLANG!

The pan and the knife landed on the floor, _away_ from him. He was safe, but...

**How could she live like this?!**

He was _not_ opening cabinet four without armor!

It was several minutes before he pulled himself off the floor, collecting the pots and pans, raising the big knife with a vindictive glee.

_He'd dull this blade!_

That's what he made a good effort at doing. Every single thing that required cutting was cut by this knife, his every strike born of a desire to made this metal suffer in one way or another. By the time he was done this blade would be covered in a foul mixture. The combined essence of every ingredient cut would be imbued into the blade, creating a smell to offend any sense of smell. This knife would pay for trying to take one of his manhood!

(He'd still end up cleaning it later though)

Eventually all the ingredients were in the pot, and his soup was bubbling rhythmically. He took a look at the room before him. Clean, so he wouldn't need to scrub the floor, but it was too clean. He'd only given the place a quick brushing yesterday, so where was it...

_Where was the mess?_

His shoulders rose high and fell in a heavy breath, he knew the answer to that. It wasn't here, it wasn't ever going to be. Only a single person lived her, and now that was only when she went to sleep or bathe. There was nothing and no-one else's mess to notice. No magazines left out by Taiga's mother, no newspapers by her father, no keys, no trinkets, nothing. (His nails dug into the worktop he was holding) Taiga lived alone in an apartment too big for her, and she was _sick!_

_Where the hell were they?_

He picked up a wooden spoon, vigorously stirring before taking a taste. That was coming along nicely. He left the kitchen, briefly, taking a glass of water and ox of medicine with him. Taiga's home was, to no surprise, lacking in any kind of medicine, so he'd brought some with him. He quietly approached the door, entering once more.

Taiga was still asleep. He took aim at the desk at the far side of her room, only now taking note in this room's sheer size. It had to be at least the size of his room, and his home's living room combined, perhaps even Yausko's room atop that! He took slow and cautious steps.

"Mnmm." He stopped. "Uhhh." Taiga was shifting. He changed course.

Taiga's eyes slowly opened. "Uhhh." She slowly blinked. Her head wavered back and forth, rocking gently before. "Ryu-Ryuuji?"

"Good morning."

She groaned. "No school, nooooo." She turned away from him.

Ryuuji just smiled. "It's alright." He sat down beside her, expertly extracting a pair of capsules from the box. "Come on, you need medicine." She didn't move. "Please, Taiga."

Something about the way he said "please" caught her attention. She turned around, opening her mouth. Ryuuji placed the capsules in her mouth, reaching down to raise her head up as she drank. He lowered her gently. "You hungry?"

She nodded.

He smiled brightly. "I'll be right back."

Ryuuji left Taiga again, and the briefly out-of-order bundle of violence sat up in her bed, slowly. She groaned, what would she have done if Ryuuji wasn't here? She shook her head. _She'd have managed...somehow._

Ryuuji returned, an alluring smell coming with him. Ryuuji never failed to whip up something tasty, and this was likely something special. He gently placed a try in her lap, letting her stare down at a read soup, which held varying masses of other colors, the other markers of ingredients Taiga would never ask about.

It really did smell good, whatever was in it. She slowly reached for the spoon, her fingers slowly grasping it before she picked it up.

It slipped from her hand. She growled, grasping it again, slightly faster.

It slipped again. "Dammit..."

Ryuuji watched her slowly reach again, and he didn't need to think hard to predict a result. "Geez. Give it here." He took the spoon and tray from her, to her weak and ignored protest. He dug the spoon into the bowl, presenting it to Taiga. "Open up."

She cast him a deadpan look. "You're kidding me."

He sighed. "Stop being difficult."

"Why you-umph!" She closed her mouth, keeping the contents of the spoon from spilling out onto the sheets. In a second Ryuuj pulled the spoon back, watching Taiga's reaction as he suppressed a grin.

Feed her something good and Taiga wouldn't say a word. (unless you counted "seconds!") Taiga gave him a distilled glare, before opening her mouth again. He placed a fresh spoonful of soup within, and she quickly gulped it down. He reached into the bowl again, this time extracting a chunk of meat before giving it to his patient. She chewed briefly, before suddenly stopping, then as if someone had turned on Taiga's "mealtime" mode, she chewed vigorously. Clearly she'd identified what kind of meat she was eating.

What was it with this girl and pig meat? Ham, pork, bacon, if put before her it would quickly be gone. He briefly wondered what would happen if he stuck a live pig in front of her. He imagined it'd be much like what would happen if a pig was put before an actual tiger. (just a lot more messy)

Ryuuji already had a spoonful prepared before she was done, and he didn't need to wait long, nor for the next one. She had the taste for soup now, and she'd be dammed long before she let it slip away. She was going to want this again after today, and she wasn't gonna wait to get sick to demand it. (There was next to zero chance he'd say no. This girl was too good at getting things from him)

He fed her another spoonful, taking a moment to take in this surreal situation. By anything even resembling logic he shouldn't be here, given the nature of their relationship, yet he was. This Taiga was different from the one he was familiar with, with slightly dishevelled hair, wearing Pyjama's, and the slight tinge of red on her face mistakable for a perpetual blush.

He smiled.

There were times when Taiga really could be the cutest girl he knew. It was a pity she never made an effort to be, she could have a certain someone snagged inside a week. Then she could have a dream come true, by having said someone be the one taking care of her. His smile reduced, and faded.

_Where would that leave him?_

Her gaze briefly averted, Taiga finished another bite of meat. She turned to Ryuuji, catching his vacant expression with a familiar glint in her eye. "Breathe a word of this and you're-umph!"

"Yeah, yeah. Dead, got it." Ryuuji extracted the spoon from her mouth again. And there went her cuteness. Well, unless there was somebody who actually found having their life threatened attractive...

A short time later a dull clink sounded the end of Taiga's meal. Strangely, her first most favourite word (the ironically chosen "seconds!") was not spoken, but Ryuuji did not doubt the pot containing the rest would find itself emptied long before the day was done. Taiga yawned, picking up her blanket and sliding under it again "I'm gonna take a nap."

The not-so-subtle command in that sentence could be loosely translated as "get the hell out of my room!", but she didn't have the energy to yell, so it was likely a more gentle way of putting it.

Unfortunately, Ryuuji had never heard the words she would use in that case. He stood up. "I'll wake you for dinner", he spoke in a stoic tone. Carrying the tray, he quickly moved to the door.

"Um, Ryuuji?"

He stopped at the threshold of the door, turning back to find Taiga looking at him. She looked at him for a moment, before. "Th-" Suddenly her red tinge was a bit more noticeable somehow. She turned over, giving a not-so-interesting view of her back. "Thank you." He grasped the handle of the door, gently pulling on it as he stepped into the hall.

He stopped. "You're welcome, Taiga." He gently shut the door, smiling to himself.

Animal care wasn't so bad after all.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

End

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Author's notes: Wanted to try something a little sweeter. I figure not _all_ the day-to-day interactions between the two would result in Ryuuji having to test his pain tolerance. But what do you think? Should I stick entirely to humor, or have chapters like this now and then? (and/or branch out into other types of chapter on occasion, if I get ideas)


	9. The Dancing Dragon

_Step. Step. Step. Sway. Step. Step. Step..._

Among the list of things Ryuuji had ever intended to learn in his lifetime, dance was never one of them. Yet, here he was, a romantic song he _never _wanted to hear again coming from Taiga's TV, dancing slowly with Taiga's head leaned up against his chest (She was too short to reach higher), one of her hands clasped against his arm, the other in his own hand. They swayed in place, slowly. It'd taken hours, but it finally looked like she'd gotten the hang of dancing-"YAHHH!" The pair fell to the floor in a heap.

Scratch that. There was no overcoming her clumsy feet, not that she'd give up. "Dammit." She slammed her hands into Ryuuji's chest as she forced herself back to her feet, approaching her TV. A few seconds tinkering later and the song was back at the start. She took her place at the center of the room again, grabbing Ryuuji and forcing him into position.

_Step. Step. Step. Step. Sway..._

Ryuuji concentrated carefully, making sure he didn't make mistakes. He'd discovered he wasn't a bad dancer, now as long as Taiga didn't-"OUCH!" He fell to a knee, clutching his other knee as Taiga gave him an annoyed glare. He rubbed his knee gently, trying to sooth the pain. "Taiga, can we stop?"

She stomped her foot on the floor. "No! If I'm going to be a good bride I have to learn to dance!"

He sighed. "Well as long as _I_ don't have to dance at your wedding."

"And _what_ makes you think _you'll_ be coming?"

He rose to his feet. "Kitamura will probably invite me."

"Well then you'll dance and like it! The only way a dog like you has a chance with Minorin is by learning tricks."

His brow twitched involuntarily. "Hey. Even for you that's harsh-YAHH! IEEEEEE!"

She growled as her foot continued to grind on his. "Shut. Up. And. **Dance**!" Ignoring his pained moans, she quickly had him back into position. Forcing his pained groans into silence, Ryuuji took a more careful look at just what was going wrong, and found a tell-tale sign he hadn't noticed before.

Taiga had _that_ face. The face that said she was trying, with every fibre of her being. He had a sneaking suspicion that this was going to be her face on the eventual big day. Yuusaku was likely going to spend his honeymoon in a hospital bed. Well that was probably better than sharing a bed with a beast like the Palmtop Tiger. She was always prone to dangerous acts in moments of passion, any kind of passion. He thanked the gods of old it wasn't to be him who was going to have to try and survive _that_.

Though if he didn't act fast, it would be this day he likely wouldn't survive. "Taiga." She looked up at him, shocked from her concentration. He smiled. "Relax. Just keep your eyes on mine."

She was like a statue for a brief instant, before he felt her grasp his hands tighter. She nodded. "O-Okay."

_Step, step, step..._

They moved back, forward, their feet moving closer and closer in sync. They turned, the song moving into its faster, emotional chorus. Taiga kept her eyes focused on his, and second by second he watched her second guessing fade. When he moved, she moved with him. Her tight grip on his hand soon loosened. They weren't practising anymore.

They were _dancing_.

He couldn't help but smile. Now she wasn't trying too hard this seemed almost easy. With profound ease he kept his eyes on hers. Strangely, he found he didn't even want to turn away. It was rare that those eyes didn't look upon him with either demand or fury, so he'd missed just how beautiful Taiga's eyes really were. He didn't know how long this song would go on for, but he didn't care anymore. They were not dancing to the song any longer, it was flowing through them. They turned once more, the passion of the song giving force to their movement, and Taiga's hair danced in the air.

_Almost like a veil._

Ryuuji, for the briefest instant, took in Taiga's short dress. She had wanted to practice in a dress better styled for a bride. Naturally, Ryuuji liked being able to walk (and be concussion free, but divine intervention was highly unlikely) so a long dress was out. He would almost regret it, but he knew he would see the fruits of his labour one day in the far future.

She would truly be a beautiful bride.

The last notes of the song came, as soft and gently as their movements as they too slowed to a halt. Ryuuji smiled softly.

_Flawless._

She smiled too. For a moment each of them stood there, deaf to the start of the next song and it's gentle, slow melody. He slowly lowered his arms, their grip slowly separating.

They let go. He blinked, having empty hands seemed very strange all of a sudden. He took a look down at his hands as Taiga walked away, and only after a moment did he look to where she got to... "Taiga, what are you-?"

She turned around, and he felt the icy grip of fear upon his heart. _That look was back!_

"One more time!"


	10. Bad Dreams

Author's Notes: And we're ten chapters in. You'd think I'd finally stop crapping on the franchise by now...

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Ryuuji gently lay his form upon the soft grass of the field, blind to the beauty of the cherry blossom tree above him. All he saw was the angel laying atop him, petals of that same tree decorating her hair. He smiled, raising his hand to caress the side of her hand-crafted face.

"Taiga."

Taiga smiled. "Ryuuji." She leaned in closer to him. "You're mine." She slowly closed her eyes. "Forever."

Ryuuji closed his eyes too, and felt the softest sensation touch his lips. The world was no more, except for them, he and his angel. He let his hands rest in her hair as he kissed deeper, tasting wonder that even gods would envy. For one glorious moment they held their touch, before slowly, oh so slowly they pulled away, still smiling. This was bliss, and he wanted nothing more than the presence of his angel. Ryuuji's eyes opened.

He blinked.

"Huh?"

He took in the dark, familiar wood of his ceiling. His hand lightly touched his lips. _"A dream?"_ He shook the phantom images from his mind, and sat up. The television was almost frozen in time, a static image with select words standing on a list. "Play" and "scene select" among them. He blinked, trying to deduce from his memory just how this had become the state of affairs. He took careful look at the TV, trying to find out just why he was-

Ah, now he remembered. One of Taiag's _ingenious_ ideas.

(An honest analyses of one of Taiga's ideas was likely to cost him his life)

He took note of the very small pile of DVD's resting near the TV, all of them rented movies. In a desperate attempt to discover how to be romantic, the pair had rushed to the store. (meaning Taiga had rushed to the store, dragging Ryuuji by his arm, and then his ear when he attempted resistance. He didn't resist a second time.) Taiga's eyes quickly set sight on anything she could deem romantic. She didn't even need thirty seconds, and quickly shoved a case in his face.

Honestly, he'd thought she'd had a good eye with the first one. With Cherry Blossoms on the cover, surely it was a romantic film. Only hours later he would learn he was only half right. There was romance, but Taiga was _not_ happy with the ending. The second she'd picked...well, it was hard to have romance when the two would-be lovers were a galaxy apart, and the third movie ended with the girl having amnesia. Then they just kept on going through their rented movies...

This was not a night of happy endings.

Ryuuji yawned. Now where had Taiga gotten to? He listened, closely, and felt himself flush.

He looked down.

There she was, her head resting above his knees. Taiga was softly smiling, more content that ever he could remember seeing her. She smiled wider."Ryuuji..." He blinked, what an extraordinary coincidence. What was she dreaming about?

"You're mine...forever."

Ryuuji's face invented a new shade of red. Taiga's lips pursed, and he felt his face get even hotter as he recalled exactly what happened next. He watched as she held that look for a moment, a moment that seemed to last far longer than a minute, his lips tingling with the dream memory of the touch of her lips.

Her eyes fluttered open, and for an instant he caught the look he'd only seen in his dreams. Dreams really didn't do it justice, and he felt the sudden urge to smile back. He nearly did, but then the instant ended.

Taiga rapidly blinked, and like a confused cat her gaze shot in all directions. She took a longer gaze at the TV than anything else before she formed a deadpan look. "Nightmare." She slowly turned. "That was..." She met his eyes. "The absolute worst nightmare."

"Y-yeah..." Ryuuji shifted his leg, making Taiga sit up as he rose to his feet, advancing on the TV with all the appearance of one about to engage in battle. Ryuuji pushed the eject button of the DVD player, pulling out the offending movie with new found determination.

This really was getting ridiculous. First that weird as hell dream with the-he shuddered. He was trying to _forget_ that one, and now this! He repressed a sigh, how long had it been since the only girl in his dreams had been his red-haired angel? That damn Taiga...she wouldn't even give him privacy in his dreams! He packed up the disc with a determined grin. This was **ne****ver** happening again.

Tomorrow Night: Action movies.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

End

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Author's Notes: Consider yourself among the elite of my fanbase/completely batshit crazy (you've got at least one screw loose if you like my crap) if you get the references in this chapter. If you do, bit of triva; the order they're mentioned is the order I first saw them.

**P.S.**

Never stated in the anime, but it was stated in the novels that the two tended to fall asleep watching movies at Ryuuji's place. The anime only showed it as a one off (with Yuusaku), but it was more frequent, and started much sooner than that point in the cannon in the novels. It wasn't just something I pulled out of my ass for plot convenience.

For an example of something pulled out of my ass: well you read this chapter, that's a typical example. If you want more, read everything else I've ever written.


	11. Grooming Session

Ryuuji ran his needle through the fabric he was holding once again. On a rare occasion, it was one of his own clothes that required the attention, a rarity in his family. Well, family and...he was still trying to find a word for the one he could never actually convince to go home.

He took a casual look across the table, and found Taiga gazing at the TV with mild interest as she sucked on a straw. Juice was normally not something he had in the household, especially in carton form, but it was the only thing she drunk more than honey-preserved kumquats (though Ryuuji was seriously considering purchasing a keg to accommodate the amounts she demanded of that) It wouldn't be so annoying if she stopped storing _her_ juice in _his_ fridge.

She let go of the carton she was holding, quickly stabbing her draw into another one, one of five which were on the table, three of which already had straws sticking out of them. Ryuuji really was perplexed, where did such a small girl find room for all the stuff she consumed?

There was a flash from the TV, looked like it was commercial break. Ryuuji didn't take interest, instead continuing with his sewing, until he heard a word which stuck out in his memory...

"_Isn't that the magazine Kawashima modelled for?"_

He'd gotten the tense wrong. Taiga's face suddenly darkened, her features sharpened. "That woman..." He heard the crack of her knuckles. "That damn chihuahua!"

The carton was crushed in her hand, still full of juice.

"AHHHHH!" Taiga leapt to feet. "Dammit, it's everywhere!" Ryuuji got up too, though out of range of the explosion, had a mess to deal with. Before he could move Taiga ran, sweeping into the bathroom. The sound of running water was soon heard. He sighed to himself. He was going to have to doubt his efforts in his and Taiga's shared endeavours.

She single-handedly doubled his workload even on a good day. As for the bad...

With expertise only years of experience could bring, he quickly reduced the mess to a memory, and some slight, near-invisible wetness on the floor for time to erase. He heard the 'click' of the door opening, and looked to see Taiga coming out. She was...well, a mess. Her face was still dripping with water, and there were obvious signs of haphazard dress cleaning. That was something he was going to have to do himself. Her hair on the other hand, he did not envy Taiga right now. She almost looked like a near-drowned cat after an encounter with a blow dryer. Her eyes were hidden by her hair, and the intent she radiated did not bode well for him.

She raised her hand. "Brush."

A witty comeback would erase any hope he ever had of having children. "W-what do you-?"

She advanced on him, every step likely to be the one to send the landlady over the edge. She looked him in the eye, the short girl somehow seeming to tower over him as she did. **"Brush!"**

He stumbled back. "Wait- I don't know how! I've never-!"

She took one step more, bring the weight of the universe with her. "Do it, before something bad happens to you."

_That was almost subtle..._

He hesitantly offered his hand, and Taiga slammed the brush into it. A frailer man than Ryuuji would have wound up with broken bones, a stronger man...well, he might have been foolish enough to try matching Taiga's force, and wound up with far worse. When the raging beast wanted something there were two, and only two options: Submit or die, and Ryuuji hadn't given up on life yet. Taiga sat herself in front of the TV, letting Ryuuji sit down behind her, nearly deaf to the blare of the screen as it showed whatever it was Taiga was watching today.

He gulped. He'd never done this before. He'd been doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, but his duties had never extended to beautician. He hesitantly raised some of Taiga's hair in his hand. Well he could either try, do wrong, and get a beating for it. Or not do it and get an even harder beating for it. It was a no-brainer.

One day he really was going to figure out why he put up with this girl...

Softly, he cast the brush across the length of hair he had a gentle pull on, making sure to reach the very ends of the strands. Slowly, he repeated the process a few more times. Her hair really was as soft to the touch as it appeared. He gently brushed the length he held one more time, before letting go. He raised another length, and like the first it soon was brushed into fine order. He reached for another length, parts of it still darker with damp. He put the brush to the darkest part and pulled.

"Ouch!" She turned on him. "Careful!"

"Okay, okay." He looked at the area closely, deducing some of Taiga's hair had somehow spiralled into a knot. He slowly undid it, letting her hair take on a more natural state before he brushed it into perfection. He moved to another damper section, finding several knots to unravel. The TV flashed again.

Commercial break? Had he been at this so long already? He kept his focus on his task, while Taiga kept it on the screen before her...

"Damn woman...keeps trying to take other people's things."

"Huh?" He stopped. "What do you-?"

"Shut up!" She was quiet for a second before-"Keep brushing."

He untied a knot, and did just that. As he delicately tended to every length he found himself in awe. What did she have to do to keep her hair so beautiful? Something so long and flawless must have taken countless hours of care to maintain, but he'd never seen Taiga so much as glance at a hair care product. Yet despite that, as he held her hair in his hands, brushing every strand, there wasn't even a split end. This silken, bright auburn hair, affixed to a body seemingly crafted by angels. Spending so much time with her, Ryuuji could both completely understand and be completely confused as to why she found herself on the receiving end of confessions from so many would-be suitors. If there ever was a more appropriate use of "appearances can be deceiving" than Taiga, then Ryuuji was honestly curious as to what that entailed.

He released another length, leaning forward to capture a length near her ear. He briefly saw her face, her eyes were closed. Was she sleeping sitting up now? He smiled to himself, such a lazy little tiger...

He continued brushing, deaf to the sound of the show which was now quickly approaching its end. He pulled back, taking one last look at his handwork before smiling.

"I'm finished."

"Huh?" Ryuuji was certain she really was sleeping, she turned on him, briefly confused before she turned back around.

"D-do it again."

"W-What?"

"You probably missed something." She didn't turn around, so Ryuuji could only guess the expression on her face, and he was well educated in that tone. "Dogs don't make good hairdressers but I'll make do with what I've got. Now do it again!"

He sighed. "Alright." He reached out, taking his first length of hair once more. He gently brushed, sure of what was inevitably going to happen before long. Taiga would end up making him do this again. As he moved the brush through the length of hair he smiled.

He wouldn't mind.


	12. A Beautiful Death

"Hya!" Taiga waved her sword. Striking at the air.

"C-careful! Don't break the TV!"

Taiga ignored him, stepping back, striking a pose and slashing again. Ryuuji sighed, and he took in the pile of DVD's on the table. Sometimes this girl's ability to obsess eclipsed his own (not that he'd ever call his diligence against uncleanliness an obsession). "Ryuuji!" Snapped out of his thoughts, Ryuuji looked up. "Get me a drink, I'm thirsty!"

He sighed. "Well maybe if you took a break..."

Taiga turned on him, aiming the tip of her sword at the only other person in the room. "I'm not stopping! I have to do this for Kitamura!" She turned back on the TV, watching as a female samurai cut down a demon, after a (more like "the", Ryuuji was finding this oddly common) dramatic pause.

He got up. "Fine, fine, but we don't even know if it's true."

"Shut up!" She put her sword in the matching holster. Ryuuji just sighed. One little overheard remark about Yuusaku liking samurai movies and this was the result. He was just about to traverse the doorway between the room and kitchen when. "AHHH!"

"Taiga!" He turned around just in time to see Taiga fall, landing partly on the table, the DVDs and her lower body landing on the floor.

"Dammit." She growled as she forced herself back to her feet, oblivious to any pain. "I'm not stopping. I'm not stopping until I'm a beautiful and deadly samurai!"

"_Thank goodness you're not going for graceful..."_

He valued his safety too much to utter that aloud. She placed her Bokken back on her waist. She was trying to master what Ryuuji had called the Fatal Draw: The moment a Samurai would draw their blade and an opponent would fall down dead.

Ryuuji made a mental note to keep well out of her way.

She drew her sword again, this time managing to keep her footing. She frowned, taking a look around before-"Taiga! What are you?!"

Taiga jumped onto the table, lightly pushing the remaining DVDs to the floor with her foot. She smiled triumphantly, she'd found a perfect spot.

(Ryuuji had long since learned be to cautious of anything Taiga thought to be a good idea)

Taiga started swinging her sword again, leaving Ryuuji to sigh. It was his job to tidy up the DVDs. He quickly bundled a bunch of them into his arms, before organizing them.

"Hyaa!" He could sense Taiga taking another pose. She seemed determined to copy every one she'd seen thus far...and you'd think someone who used a sword like she did would already know which pose was the most battle suited. He looked through the movies he held one by one, everything seemed in order-

Wait, this one had a prequel, where was it? He stood up, looking through the spread mess that was the DVD's.

"Orya-uaaah."

Taiga stumbled in place, snarling as she forced herself back into a firm footing. Ryuuji took a look at her face, and as foolish as it was, maybe this was a time for more of Taiga's violent nature to come forward. It made her less clumsy. "Maybe it'll help if you picture something that annoys you?" Her gaze slowly turned on him, her eyes darkening. "What?" She growled, turning away and slashing at the air again. He knelled before the pile, analysing the cases one by one. "_Gotcha."_, he stood up, taking in the cover as he turned around. They should have spent more time on designing-

"Oryaa!"

"Huh?" He looked up "WHOH!"

He ducked, the _sound_ of the passing blade telling him it'd been a good idea. For the second time in his life he'd evaded decapitation by a wooden sword.

...by the same person.

...by the _same sword_.

God he hoped this plan worked.

Taiga, her back once more to him, slashed a few more times as she continued stepping backwards, clearly imitating something from a movie. She didn't look back, as she drew closer and closer to the edge of the table-"AHHH!"

"Taiga!" He lunged, DVD forsaken as he held out his arms, letting the clumsy swordswoman fall right into them. He heard her low growl, but paid it no mind. If he had to choose between an angry Taiga or comatose one..."Don't you think you might be a bit clumsy for this?"

She glared at him. "You're no help." She pushed away from him, walking away across the table. "I'm practising in solitude. A barking dog like you'll only distract me."

"_I'm a __'__barking dog__'__ now?" _She didn't look back at him, instead all he heard as the sound of the door opening and closing. He sighed. _"__Where__'__d I put the medical kit?"_ He opened the door to the veranda, even double-glazed windows would not dampen the sound of Taiga's screams.

There were none. Ryuuji waited minutes, then handfuls of minutes, then an entire hour, but no scream came. He looked to her living window, seeing the light was still on. _"Maybe she stopped?"_ He went about his business, taking a load of laundry out to the washer. Yet another thing Taiga _generously_ added to his life, additional laundry. He really did wonder how one girl went through so much clothing...

His expertise got the clothing in the washer and the machine humming in a moment, and he made his way back into his room. So rare he got the night to himself, now what should he do with the silence...

-click-

"Hmm?" He turned around. Taiga's window slid open, but it was pitch black within. "Taiga?" He cautiously stepped to the edge of his veranda. "Taiga? Are you-AH!" He narrowly caught an object which had been thrown at him, quickly realizing it as a Bokken. _"__She has two?"_ He looked up, awaiting whatever was to come next.

"On your guard, dog. Your time has come."

"Tai-?"

Finally, she emerged.

_A Samurai._

She jumped from the window, her sights set on him. Her hair billowing in the wind, her eyes glowing in the night, her sword high above her head, even made of wood, seemed to howl for blood.

_Deadly._

He raised his sword, meeting Taiga's slash with a pitiful parry. His sword was knocked from his hand and she slammed into him, sending both of them crashing to the floor. His arms splayed, he could only look up at Taiga, kneeling over him as she held her sword to his neck with a victorious grin. In her bright Kimono, littered with cherry blossoms as her hair danced gracefully. She knew she'd done it...

_Beautiful._


End file.
